oh Claire...

During church this morning she gave her dad and I quite a scare! She didn't move at all till communion was over. For her, thats not really normal. She likes to move before and after I eat. When I ate breakfast this morning I felt nothing. Even after a bottle of milk I felt nothing. Thankfully she has been moving around today, making my belly jump even! It felt like losing a baby all over again in a way. I mean, I know she wasn't dead but there was the thought of "what if?". The sermon was about biblical friendship. I couldn't help but think "whats going to happen if we lose Claire too?" "all our friends are 2 hours away."I don't know if that even makes sense. Right now I've got the laptop on my lap and she's seemingly dancing to the music! Joe's playing a football game on the ps3. He's getting upset over it..silly games. I don't understand but then again, I don't think he understands why I keep a blog either. Yesterday the preacher of the Northside came to give us cookies! They were yummy! I think I have just gotten less patient as of late. I think its a result of a few things. I mean, Joe doesn't have a job yet. Not that he hasn't tried but a person kinda needs a job to survive financially, I'm scared of losing another baby, since we've been here I've talked about Ella a lot more and everything in the situation surrounding her, and we just don't know many people here. The people downstairs are crazy loud at night...well, can be and I think they have a puppy (which they aren't supposed to have) It didn't help that when I saw the dog he looked like our girl dog that we had to give away. I miss CCCB still..still kinda wish I was a student..I think its more I just want the atmosphere. Okay, I don't have anything else to say. I'm just scared of losing another baby. That's kind of been the dominant thought floating around in my head lately.