Wednesday, August 11, 2010


tomorrow Joe is going to Kansas City to get his parents and we packing up the u haul. We are coming SOO close to saying "goodbye Moberly" it almost seems unreal. We are getting the people who have been staying with us out tonight. Joe found someone to help move some furniture. Thank goodness! I've been having quite the time with them there. I think it has a lot to do with ALL the pregnancy hormones flying around (The wife of the other couple is also pregnant.) It's also just hard living with another married couple. It puts stress where stress ought not to be needed. I am excited to see my in laws together. I haven't seen them together in almost 2 years! Since they are living in California, its always one or the other that comes out. We may have found a home for our dog which is awesome! I've been fretting about finding a no-kill shelter. I think I got poison ivy on my hands! Which is a real bummer! I've not have poison ivy before in my life! and it get it on my hands! Anyway, so I have been calling Claire "Ella" lately. or "Grace". I don't know why. I hate it. It feel like I'm making Claire feel unwanted or that I wish she was her sister. I don't wish she was her sister. It's true that I want her Ella here but if God said you could have Ella if you give me Claire I wouldn't say yes. Does that make me a horrible mom? I just read an update on a post that someone lost their rainbow baby. I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not scared of losing Claire. I want her so bad! We have plans for her. I just almost hate to make them because I don't want them to be broken..again.well, you all know what I mean I hope.  I am going to miss my Mobtown friends but am trying to remember i'm only a couple hours away.I'm going to go eat mexican food with one of the friends I have been SOO close to since about a month after our little girl died. I'm excited to see her! I just can't wait till we find some sort of normalcy in moving to Warrensburg. I hope that makes sense. Exciting & new is freshing as well though too. So Joe and I will be making frequent trips to Columbia (about once a month or so for doctor appointments) and Claire is scheduled to be born in Columbia in November so if anyone wants to make a trip to Columbia to see us after we move get ahold of me. I'm actually more convinced God is going to take care of us once we move. I've had my doubts its sad to say. Joe has put his faith in God and that has helped me a lot! I don't know why I ever doubt. He always comes through for us even if it is at the last minute. So i've been struggling with worry and gossip a lot! Although, I can't decide if its gossip or just talking about things that upset me? How and where do you draw the line?

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