Monday, October 15, 2012

being a part of that group

I am in the babyloss club. I consider it both fortunate and unfortunate. I remember before Ella even came about to be used by God and I didn't care how He did it. Boy, if I knew then what I know now..but anyway, another mom joined the ranks recently. She was 8 months along. So, naturally (to me anyway) I gave permission to send my email & phone number if she would ever need someone to talk to who "knows". Today is International Babyloss Day. All the babies who died before or shortly after they were born are being especially remembered today. At 7pm (whatever time zone I believe) we are to light a candle in rememberance of our little ones. I probably won't get a chance to do this..well, on time anyway. I watched "October Baby" last night. Great movie. I sobbed. I miss my little girl everyday. Wondering what she would be like now (age 3) is almost too much to bear sometimes. I get this horrible empty pit in my heart! I hate it...I try to think about her praising God in Heaven. Then, I wonder if its all a fairy tale (that there is even a Heaven). I know there is. God is tenderly and patiently working on my faith and trust in Him.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Can I get a witness?

The last 3 weeks, a Jehovah's Witness has been coming to visit me. I'm convinced she's trying to convert me! Well, what else is there purpose..that was a duh statement. I knew our beliefs were different but woo wee! She doesn't believe in the Holy Spirit, doesn't believe that God and Jesus are one, amongst some other things. Now, she asks me my opinion A LOT and I feel so ignorant. I know what I know is true but man, this guys really know there stuff! It seems she is so close to the truth I know but just isn't quite there. If you are curious about how their beliefs differ from Christians check out Its some pretty intense stuff I think. I feel like a Moses. I just mean, I feel like "God, what are you doing through me? I'm ill equipped. Why did you send Teresa to my door?" If anyone of you is an expert at debate, I need some tips!!! I'm not good with my least not with her. I don't want to 'cram it down her throat' but I don't want to just let her talk without putting words in of my own.
Can anyone relate?