Monday, November 1, 2010

getting closer!

We've got about 17 days till ms. Claire will be here. Unless she decides to make an appearance before then but part of me doubts she will.

I feel like we are more excited each passing day! She is still moving really well for not having hardly any room inside me and for me being so "abdominally challenged" (aka short). We have another doctor appointment today. There are only 3 days worth of doctor appointments left till she gets here! I will be seeing my OB next week for the last time until the baby comes. Time is running so short. I'm so ready to actually hold my baby girl. I feel like in a way, we have waited like 2 years for a baby.

In other news, we watched the 1 year olds yesterday at church. I enjoyed it and I think Joe did too. He was a little nervous at first I think but eventually he warmed up. He had a boy who just would not hardly let go of him both services. Well, it was a different boy each hour. It was cute. He just sat in the rocking chair the majority of the time trying to comfort the ones who just didn't want to be there. We got home and both definitely rested the rest of the day, we were so tired. We didn't have any trick or treaters last night like we thought we would. We thought "hey, we live right in the middle of a college town and a lot of people around us have kids." but not one knocked on our door. We spent the night watching halloween specials. Well, sort of, we watched a halloween episode of rugrats, mystery science theatre (werewolf) and spongebob. Now we have this plastic pumpkin full of candy staring me in the face. I haven't eaten any but I'd like to of course.

I am still fighting this dumb cold. Getting ready to have a baby is wearing me out but so is this cold!  Friday, Joe went to get his flu shot. He really didn't wanna do it (he hates needles) but since its for our daughter I think it made it easier. After he came out of the room he acted like it was no big deal. I think it was just one of those instances where he was just more nervous than he needed to be. I know those kind of situations all too well. I am still thinking this pregnancy is going to be one of those situations where everything turns out just fine in the end and I wonder why I worried to begin with.

The other day I was talking with someone about the "black cloud" stealing my happiness about the pregnancy. We talked about the difference between happiness and joyfulness. I know that there is a difference. I guess I just needed to be reminded that happiness is more of a in the moment feeling. Joyfulness is knowing that whatever happens, it will be okay and that if Claire doesn't make it, I have the security of knowing I will see her again when this earthly life is over. It seems as if the 'black cloud' has sort of disappeared since that talk. I mean, I'm still a little scared of losing her but I know I will see my girls in Heaven someday should Claire not make it. Joe gets out of school in about 10 minutes and will be home shortly. Sometimes, I hate being alone.

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