Thursday, September 16, 2010

9 more weeks!!

Baby Claire will be here 9 weeks from today! It's pretty much surreal. I feel like we have waited for 2 years  for this baby. I pray that in 9 weeks we will finally have a live, healthy baby in our arms. I miss Ella too. There isn't part of me that doesn't wish she was here..okay, the motherly, I want you to have the very best is glad she's in Heaven. In the very beginning of losing her I couldn't understand how it would be better for a baby to be with Jesus and not her mother. I still struggle with it at times. I'm happy to say that I feel like I have grown since losing her. I understand God is with me during this pregnancy but I still feel like he could take away another baby. This baby will be here very soon! I'm hoping the time will go by pretty fast. There is a part of me that doesn't want the time to pass. Particularly if she will die in the womb as her sister did.I know of 2 people who have had babies in the past week or so and I can't help but wonder "will I get my happy ending?"

The Elizabeth George study we have been doing on Wednesday morning has been going well. I have learned quite a bit about the blessing of prayer. I've discovered that God takes delight in those that take delight in Him. Sounds crazy huh to just figure that out? Maybe I just needed reminding. I pray for God's blessings but I have to ask myself how far am I willing to go for Him? I am trying to give up more time during my day to be more disciplined and spend more time with Him..and thinking about Him. Tuesday nights have been also going pretty well. I am thankful for the friendships that could be bonded together. 

I still feel like I am a little bit more secluded than I should be. I feel like it will take me longer to gain more than just a few friendships (not that I'm not thankful for them) than I had hoped.Not that a person needs a lot of friendships..I'm one of those quality of quantity people. So maybe what I just said sounded a little silly. 

Praise God that we received a gift card in the mail today! The envelope did not have a return address on it but we are thankful! We also received a letter in the mail from Sprint. They took $5 off our monthly bill! Which I know isn't much but right now as we have no income everything helps!

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