Wednesday, July 13, 2011

3 in the morning

and I can't sleep. my nose is semi stuffy, my throat hurts & I'm sort of working on a headache. It doesn't help that there is a st. bernard trapesing through the house. They are most definately not small animals.Of course I lay here & think of my time left without my husband.I've come to realize the place I called home for so long isn't home anymore. It's wherever Joe & Claire are. Ella's birthday is on the 19th. I'm totally disappointed I am not having an easier time here. I long for the day (about 10 of them) where Joe & Claire & me will be together again. I'm not sure how I will spend Ella's 2nd birthday. Everything I can think seems inadequate. I sure wish I had both my baby girls here. I realize some people aren't as fortunate to even have 1 here with them. I can't help but still feeling an empty spot. The doctors think my mom had her 2nd heart attack the last in the last few days. As I said, disappointed this time isn't easier...I am hoping that God will find a way to use me though & make it a blessing for me as well. Is that selfish? To want to be blessed by God when blessing someone else? Please say a prayer for me...

1 comment:

  1. Prayed! Ashley, I just finished reading in the book of Nehemiah, and there are a few times in that book that he asks God to remember him for all the good he was doing for Jerusalem. I'd call that wanting to be blessed when you're blessing someone else. Also, remember that God WANTS to bless us. I'd just check to make sure that it's not your only motive for doing good. Obviously, the goal is to glorify Him :) Love you! Hope this week gets better for you!