Saturday, December 25, 2010

Claire's first Christmas

We didn't do much of anything today. We didn't travel, we already did last week. We don't have any family here in Warrensburg so we just stayed home! Joe made us omelets this morning for breakfast, he made some of kind of dip and we're gonna eat roast here in a couple hours (it took a long time to cook). Claire slept a lot better last night than she had been. She only woke up once in the middle of the night to eat! I was excited. She was up about 6 or 7 am, went back to sleep and then woke up again an hour later. I took a few pictures of her to commemorate this day and then she went to sleep soon afterwards. She's in her seat now that vibrates! I think she took a little nap in it. She's still having trouble sleeping alone so I was excited that she slept in it. Her daddy must have the touch. He put her down in it after she fell asleep and she stayed asleep, if I do it she wakes up! I wonder if when we went on our trips last week I kind of set her back on the whole 'lets get you to sleep alone.' thing. Our sleeping was a lot different than it is at home. Joe and I slept in different beds most of the time and the baby was with me.
Sleeping issues aside, our trips were well needed I think. People got to meet Claire who hadn't before. It was nice for them and nice for me too. I appreciated the extra help and appreciated feeling like I have a life outside my apartment again.  I still find it hard to take in sometimes that I get to be someone's mommy. There are times I wonder if I will mess her up. I wonder how I will get through the stages we will go through as she gets older. I guess thats just something you learn as you go..maybe? I wonder how Joe and I will tell her about Ella and explain that she is in Heaven in a way that she will understand.
I know I do not HAVE to worry. In fact, I am told not to but I can't seem to shake it. I try to hand over my issues to God but I guess that doesn't seem to be enough somehow. You'd think it would be. After all, he did get me through the loss of one child and allowed me to birth a perfectly healthy (live) baby. Even the other day he was still proving himself to me. Claire hadn't dirtied her diaper yet and Joe and I were kind of scared about that fact. I prayed that God would allow her to..dirty it so we wouldn't worry and like 5-10 minutes later she did! I am finding it easier to do things that I liked doing before the baby was born, such as read a book. I may not be able to sit down and read whenever I want but I can in the middle the of the night while I'm nursing! I'm starting to get the hang of this mom thing

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