Monday, February 21, 2011

a day in the life of me

I get up, I nurse, and I can't seem to get off the couch. I try to put her in her rocking chair. That works for awhile if she's in a good mood. I play with her (when she's in a good mood). I clean when I get a free moment.  I feel inadequate as a mom. I know there is probably more I should be doing as her mom. I love her very much. I am not complaining. I guess I'm just saying I feel like I'm ill equipped.Then again I'm a fan of being a mommy. I don't know that this makes any sense to anyone reading this. I just want the best for her. 
My blood sugar has been high, the anticipation of reading the number on the meter scares me. I wonder how long I will be here. I know that stress and worry only makes the blood sugars worse so I try to do what I can and then let whatever happens, happen. 
I feel like I'm failing at a relationship with God. I do go to a weekly bible study which is awesome!  There is a workbook that goes with it. its a daily thing. I feel like I'm always in a hurry to do it, I don't take the time to actually soak it in..well, not as much as I want to. 
its going to be alright..i know it is!

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