Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Claire, anxiety and more!

first, lets start with Claire! She's doing wonderfully! She's a very happy baby 85% of the time. We are just starting being adament about crib training...I know..I know..I coddled her too much. It all goes back to Ella. I know I can't make sense of it to anyone who hasn't lost a child. On another hand, not only did it come down to her being next to me as sort of a pacifier to me..but it was easier not to have to get up several times a night. Now, that I'm trying to keep her in her crib I'm up AT LEAST five times a night.

Anxiety, its getting better..I'm trying to change the way I think. I am attempting to have a more positive in attitude. Actually doing it is very hard.

I know I have ben very wishy washy about my relationship with God. I realize now that I am relying too much on on feelings...I don't FEEL Him here with me sometimes..it doesn't mean He's not though. I have been feeling..that word again right? That I want to be close to God, I just am afraid to be taken for a fool with something thats not real..but then again..how could He not be real?!?! I think general revelation (trees, etc) are an example of God's power. anyone ever FEEL like this?

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