I play this game..a lot! I compare myself to other mothers, and wives specificially. Nobody told me the work of a SAHM (stay at home mom) isn't roses and peaches all the time. I love LOVE my daughter but its not always easy being at home day in and day out. I know it isn't healthy to compare myself to others..I don't know why I do it. Other than "sin is fun" I have no answer for you.
I've began there are other ways we are called to be stewards other than with our money. I stink at being a good steward of my time! Neither my husband or little girl starve, go without clothes or anything like that. I guess typing all this out has led me to remember..there I go again, comparing myself. I don't know how to break this nasty habit. I realize what God has called me to do looks different than what He's called you to do. I still think "God, what else should I be doing besides being a mommy?"I've come up empty. I don't want to be a Jonah, running the FARTHEST away from my calling that I can get. Now, I don't know if this is what I wanna "hear" (stay at home with Claire and nothing else) or i'm just not listening to Him very clearly. Sometimes I have a hard time distinguishing His voice with my own. WOW! THAT sounded egotistical didn't it? I totally didn't mean it that way. I probably should have said I have a hard time knowing when God is speaking to me. I've came up with a couple ideas..such as call/meet with the local hospital, tell them what i've been through with Ella. If anyone going through losing a child needs someone, giving them my contact info and just being there for mothers especially. I've thought of going door to door just chatting it up with people or just taking walks and hoping to find a "God moment." I am pursuing a counseling degree to try to help people on a professional level but I want it and I want it NOW!
patience Ashley patience!
I've started a book study with a group of lovely girls over the book "7". The author is talking about getting rid of excess in our lives..I think I'm gonna enjoy this..in the end. Right now, the truth is hard to hear..even though I need to but I'm excited.