Ella

I look at pictures of her and want to reach out and touch her. It takes me a minute to realize I cannot. I feel like as her mother I should be able to though. Yesterday we saw Claire! We had another doctor appointment yesterday. She's doing well! Yesterday when we were watching her, she winked! Apparently she's not supposed to do that till 28 weeks. I will be 27 on Friday! She also has hair! Which also isn't supposed to happen till the 28th week. In the words of the nurse "she's smarter than ALL the other babies."  of course she said that in a joking way. Joe might get a job at the kfc here. He handed in his application and talked to the shift manager. They are hiring she said and the fact that he's worked at other kfc's for 6 years looks good on his application. I'm pretty tired of this no income deal. It's amazing how much having money makes me feel stable.  I can't decide if thats a good thing or not. I talked to the doctor yesterday about the anti anxiety medicine i'm on. The other doctor I go to, her nurse told me it was unsafe for baby to take the anti anxiety medicine during the last trimester. The high risk doctor said that when we weigh all the factors of this pregnancy, it's more worth it to stay on the medicine. He told me that there is a 1 percent chance the baby could have something wrong with her heart if I stay on it.  I would think that since we have had so many ultrasounds and will have more they will know if she has something wrong. I think 2 percent of babies with mom's on an anxiety have a chance on neonatal withdrawal. That just means that they get fussy, and have a hard time eating. He told me that since I am on the medicine because I have already lost a child. Once I have Claire in my arms and realize she's safe I could probably get off the medicine. Another thing I found interesting is that he said because of my mthfr mutations (look it up. it's hard to explain) I am more prone to depression. CRAZY! He up'd the dosage on my insulin yesterday as well. This morning my blood sugar was 81! I haven't seen it be that good in a long time!