oh nothing...

I'm honestly just trying to find a way to pass the time. It's just me for the night! Joe's got a free ticket for a baseball game. Today has been one of those days where I just feel lonesome. Being in a new town has been nice but man it does stink when I don't have anything familiar to go to. Maybe that doesn't make sense. i just mean like, i can't just call a friend and meet up with them somewhere. I'm going to be in Columbia every week till the baby is born. I'm thankful to be able to meet with the doctor every week to check on our Claire. I'm pretty much a paranoid momma but I am trying to hand that over to God. When I fail and I start worry I feel even worse cause I feel like a failure..only sometimes though. There are times I'm just focused on the worry and not even thinking about the fact that I told God he could have my worry cause His yoke is easy and light. 

I feel sort of broken right now. I don't know that I can explain it. Not that I want to give up and throw in the towel or anything. I just wonder what God has in store for our family. Joe called kfc this morning. They hired someone else. Even though Joe called I don't even know how many times to check on his application and has had 6 years experience..we thought it would be 'in the bag.' I guess thats what happens when we start to get full of ourselves. Well, to be honest, I kinda had a teeny hunch he wouldn't get hired but hoped I was wrong. 

I've wondered if he will ever get a job. We have our baby coming in just a couple months! I REALLY REALLY want her to come. I REALLY REALLY want her to be taken care of as well. I got a letter today saying that the gas money we will spend on monday cannot be reimbursed. There is a blessing in being able to go see the dr. in the first place. But it really stinks that we can't get this company to replace the money we will spend. Their reason was that we have to travel TOO far....its 92 miles one way I believe

...and the wondering about how we will survive continues..

I understand God will not forsake us. It feels like it to a degree. I mean, We are not taking in income. We have lived here for over a month and I just feel like losing hope into Joe finding a job any time soon with every passing day.. I wish I had something deep and profound to say that would make you think 'man, thats so encouraging' but maybe right now its me that needs to encouragement. I have asked and asked for God to provide a job and that job isn't here yet. I know that people pray for years and years for a certain thing to happen...I hope I don't have to pray for years for God to provide Joe a job.