I turned 27 weeks on Friday! Only 10 more weeks to go till she's here. I'm very excited! Today Walmart was having a sale on children's clothes. We found a dress for Claire. It was a $1 and is the most adorable thing pretty much ever..well, that might be an exaggeration actually :) Right now Joe's playing football and I'm on here and listening to 'total axxess'. Wally's hilarious! I have laundry to put away..but I don't wanna do it! We are starting to study the book of Luke in our small group at church. It's pretty cool actually to talk about it with other people. There were things that were said that I hadn't even thought of! I'm excited for the study to continue. On Wednesday we will officially start the Elizabeth George study at church. I'm pretty excited about that as well. It's gonna be good to get to know other women who go to Northside. It is a women's Bible study..obviously right?
I've been more calm about the baby in the past couple days. I'm not as paranoid about Claire dying as I have been. I know sometime in the next 2 months I'm going to be all nutty again. Probably as her birthday comes along..or, when the time comes when Ella died, which is only going to be a day before Claire is born. There are times when I tell God that I can't feel the baby move and I'd like her to kick to ease my tension and shortly after Claire kicks! I'm starting to realize God might actually listen to my request not to take Claire away from us! There are times I feel like I'm telling him I want her to stay with us for no reason. I feel like he will just take her at the end like Ella. I realized today that a woman in my small group at church had a miscarriage. I am constantly amazed at how not alone I am at this whole baby loss process.
I miss Central. I miss the small atmosphere and everything being so familiar. I know eventually we'll get there here in Warrensburg but its definately going to be a process. Joe is going to kfc tomorrow to talk to the manager to hopefully get a job there. I'm praying he gets a job soon. I like electricity! :)
I recently found out a woman that i met at boy scouts that i spregnant now has lost one previously. I am kind of cautious about what to say since i didn't hear it from her (Her hubby told my hubby who mentioned it to me)
ReplyDeleteI hadn't realizded Claire's bday was so close to ella's... i will be praying for you even harder when it gets closer.
ps i go to boy scouts with my hubby... it is a family atmosphere and there are three other ladies on a regular basis
When I said their birthdays are close I just meant that I will be 37 weeks and 6 days along...Ella died at 37 weeks and 5 days. I understand not knowing what to say to her. If she doesn't know that you know, I think saying something like "I'm praying for you." would suffice. I know, at least with me, sometimes I don't like talking about our first loss sometimes because I feel it gives the idea that its like a sign on my forehead "babyloss mom". And therefore feel sorry for me. I just want to be a regular person. Don't get me wrong, I love talking about Ella and if I had the choice to get pregnant knowing she would die I still would have wanted her for those almost 38 weeks we had wit her.
ReplyDelete